I woke up before everyone else, and made a big omelet for my husband for breakfast. Then he went to the hospital to visit his mom. He came home for lunch, and went down to his office to enjoy one of the World Cup matches, since he knows I’m not really into that. I had just turned on the oven, and was in the middle of prepping some apple tarts when the phone rang. It was my father-in-law.
My mother-in-law, Pilar, had passed away just minutes earlier.
This wasn’t a surprise, as she had been sick for a long time and her liver and kidneys were failing, but that didn’t make it any less hard. I had the difficult task of walking downstairs and telling my husband the sad news.
Monday… I accompanied my father-in-law to a funeral home to make all the arrangements. We were there for what felt like hours. It was all so surreal.
Tuesday… I started the trip preparations, as her body will be flown out to Bolivia for burial and the entire family (minus me and the girls) will attend.
Wednesday… we went to pick up my mom at the airport. I’m so grateful she could make the last-minute trip up here to be with us during this difficult time.
Thursday… yesterday, was Pilar’s memorial service.
It’s Friday… now we can finally take a deep breath. It all happened so fast.
I’ve tried to be there for my husband as much as possible these past few weeks. If he wants to watch TV, I’ll snuggle up on the couch with him. If he heads to bed early, so do I. That’s why I haven’t been blogging much. Evenings and late into the night is what was usually my time to write.
I’m afraid of what’s going to happen when my he returns from Bolivia and everything goes back to ‘normal’. It’s been a year and a half of him spending hours and hours at his mom’s bedside when she was in and out of hospitals. When she was at home, he’d go have lunch with her almost everyday. I’m sure he feels somewhat relieved, but I know he’ll be missing something. I’m afraid that he’ll feel that he has no purpose, if that makes sense. He doesn’t talk about the situation much, but seems to be opening up a little more as the days go by. His sisters think he has a heart as hard as a rock, but I know that’s not the case at all. I wish they knew him as well as I do…
Awww 🙁 I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. (((HUGS)))
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Thinking of you.
I know this week has been hard but you’ve been a great daughter-in-law and wife. He’ll need some time, I’m sure, but remind him that his purpose is still his family..his dad, you & your kids.
xo
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending good thoughts to you and your family.
It’ll be hard. It’s been 4 years since I lost my mom and we are all still dealing with it. I’ve found that day to day life gets easier, but the hard moments are just as hard as the day we lost her.
Just love him like you do! He’ll need you.
Big hugs
I am so sorry to hear this. I loved the previous post you wrote about Pilar–she was super special. Sending prayers and love your way.
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Just be patient and give him a long time to grieve in his own way. Dealing with the loss of a loved one can take from six to twelve months on average and then even after that special days years later can catch you unaware, e.g. his mom’s birthday or maybe even Christmas.
It took me a long time to get over losing my mom, and even though guys may be quite about things, they still hurt as deeply as women do.
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. I hope you are all able to heal with time.