I was supposed to post this yesterday, but subconsciously forgot to hit ‘publish’ so here it is… the first of many.
Don’t get me wrong. I weigh myself every week. But I’ve always kept that big number a secret. I don’t even think my mom knows how much I weigh, much less my husband.
What’s the big deal? It’s just a number, right? It doesn’t define me. I’m going to start posting my weigh-ins here every Wednesday to make myself accountable. I’m tired of seeing the same number week after week. I want to see it go down! How I’d love to be in “one-derland” sometime soon!
first ‘official’ weigh-in
8/3/2011 – 215 lbs
Size 14-16, or XL
My highest weight? 235 in the summer of 2009. A size 18-20. This also happened to be my highest pregnancy weight back in 2007.- Lowest weight? I’ve always been a big girl. I was in the 180’s in my early 20’s, before getting pregnant with Maya. A comfortable size 12 or so, If I remember correctly.
- Goal weight? My short term goal is 185. That would put me at around what I used to be BC (before children). I’d ultimately love to get to the 150’s, though.
Why now? I saw the photos that were taken of me ziplining in Mexico last week… and I’m pretty much disgusted by what I look like. I’ll share a few of them, but the majority will be filed away in my ‘Fat’ folder, which someday I’ll proudly show off as my ‘Before’ photos. 😉
Two years ago – August 2009 – I managed to drop 20 pounds in a month and have kept it off. Since then? Nothing. I keep bouncing the same 3-5 pounds around, but the scale hasn’t gone below 207 since before my oldest daughter was born.
The plan? Counting calories. I’ve started logging every single thing I eat. I always thought it would be a pain, and that it would make me think that much more about food, but it isn’t… and it doesn’t. 1400-1600 calories a day isn’t so bad! I have the SparkPeople app on my cell and on my iPad (both almost always within reach), so I can plug in what I eat almost immediately.
Exercise? I wish it wasn’t so darn hot outside! I started the Couch to 5K program, so that’s a good 30 minutes of walking/running three times a week. I also do Just Dance or Dance Central or some other exergaming whenever I can fit it in.
Working out isn’t the problem. It’s the eating. I love food. Especially sweets. While my husband can eat half a cookie and be satisfied, I can eat 6 and still want more. I just don’t get it. There’s nothing inside me that tells me to stop. I wrote about my carb addiction in a post almost two years ago, and here I am, still dealing with the same issue.
I’ve been good this week. When I want to eat, I know it’s not necessarily because I’m hungry. To distract myself, I’ll go outside to walk the dog, or sit down and read another chapter of a book (currently, The Help). I’m trying to make better choices, like reaching for a Crystal Light popsicle when I give my kids ice cream. So far, I’m right on track!
Good for you! I will be on this journey after the baby is born too and I am bigger than you. Huge hugs to you on this journey. Keep it up and remember you will have bad and good weeks. I would recommend you take your measurements too if you aren’t. Those are what kept me going when I didn’t see a loss on the scale.
I have about 2 weeks left before I start getting serious about a diet. I might have to join you in Wednesday Weigh in so I can stay on task and hold myself accountable. Best of luck. Persistence and discipline. Good luck.
I’m sure you can do it!! Don’t get discourage. If you fail one day – so what! You can start all over again the following day.
“Disgusting” didn’t even come to mind when I saw your ziplining photo–maybe “crazy” but not disgusting or fat! 😉 I wish you good luck anyway, though, because I know you want to feel better, not just look better.
Good for you! It sounds like you’re on the right track for some positive changes!
I’ve also wrestled with my weight and self image my whole life. I managed to lose about 10 pounds this summer but still see ‘disgusting’ in the mirror. It’s very frustrating. I did take measurements of my arms, bust, waist, hips and thighs and was very relieved to see those numbers go down even when the scale didn’t.
And hooray on adding fitness to your routine. I love to run (I’m injured right now), but any fitness is great. I recently skimmed an article (who has time to read???) that said it’s better to be a little overweight and fit, than skinny and unfit.
I am doing it with you, I have lost 25lbs in the last year, but wanted to lose at least 40, want to do it with y ou this time. I know you can do it!
Love you,
I truly love your courage to share so much with us. A number is a number is a number. It’s still hard, though, to put it out there publicly. I’m not sure if I’d be able to so I’m sending you a huge hug and a high five! Seriously! I *heart* you, like a big puffy heart! Now go on and kick some ass, girl!